Top CEOs Declare The Era Of “Marketing” Is Over

April 1, 2014: Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

The so called era of marketing is officially over, claim top business leaders.

“It’s just too hard to figure out exactly what marketing is even doing”, said a CEO who asked to remain anonymous for fear of online reprisal from his social media team.  “I mean I’m sure they are doing something but really who the hell knows if it even helps us close business.  That’s why we decided to just cancel the whole thing.”

Our top sketch artists believe the decision looked something like this:

cat slogans

Marketers everywhere are obviously furious at this development and plan to take to the digital streets to execute a massive boycott of their company’s websites to prove that all the emailing, webinars, tradeshows, whitepapers, and datasheets did in fact matter.

“So what if my webinar wasn’t the campaign that closed the deal”, said an angry, now unemployed, marketer.  “There’s this thing called a multi-touch attribution in the business world.  Nobody just clicks on one thing anymore!  I mean come on what is this? Amateur hour?”

Our business experts have concluded the marketer’s rant can be summed up with the following:

angry cat

Thankfully after the scores of angry marketers had rioted in the B2B channels for a couple hours cooler heads prevailed.  The executive teams realized that it may not have been entirely prudent to fire every single marketer just because they were unable to access the data needed to prove marketing’s contribution to revenue.  Now we’re not entirely sure what caused the executives to change their minds (but the experts are speculating it had something to do with this), but thank goodness they did – because otherwise lord knows what the impact to the global economy would have been if all those marketing campaigns lay dormant and no one was creating new, engaging content for customers and prospects.

One can only assume that we barely avoided the business world apocalypse, or at least getting pushed back into the demand generation stone age.  Let’s hope this doesn’t happen again next year!

#aprilfools

Josh Rosenberg

About Josh Rosenberg

Josh earned his MBA from Santa Clara University's Leavey School of Business in 2012 with a concentration in Marketing Management. Previously he worked in marketing at Zscaler, Inc. and is currently the Marketing Manager for Full Circle Insights.